What Makes a Man?

There are two general type of species in the Earth; Male and Female. Of the two, most people consider the first one to be the strongest. But for me, it depends on the definition. Opinionated, I believe that Male is strong in hiding their own feeling and moving on, while Female's strength is to be able to get through anything. 

I can tell as for my Family has always been a mixed one. I have my Mom and my Sister, whose, every people who knew me really well, can say how strong they have been not only for themselves but for the whole Family.

My Father is a lovable one, I can say though I have lived with him only for the first five years of my life. Every one who knew him cherish him well, even if they are not really a member of our family. He really has a big heart.

As for my Brothers, I can say that they are: "Man enough". Why?

For my Eldest Brother, I have admired him since he stood firm when facing his girlfriend's untimely pregnancy years ago (my Bright Eldest Niece is now ten!) and I am admiring him now as he wake up everyday for work and for continuing his Education despite of his age to make sure that he would be able to provide a good future for his daughters.

For my second Eldest Brother, whom after every fall, kept his Faith with God and admitted his faults and is now trying to build his own life and Family in the right way. 

But of all of them, I can say that the youngest is the strongest one.

Ped Jr is one of the most successful men I have met. In his young age, he is now a CPA, Assistant Manager, a Provider of the Family, a Talented Guitarist, Sports lover and a much loved friend, a Mentor of his siblings and a very balanced guy. 

But above those achievements, he will always be the same baby Bro that I grew up with. The only sibling that I had played out the streets during our youngsters years, the small guy who felt so big and heroic when he challenged my second older brother during the times when the latter was brawling against me (peace to kuya Perry, you know how sibling fights were =D) while saying "wag mo awayin ang ate ko!", that boy whom helped me make up stories and make face about how we took afternoon nap but really did not do it because we don't see the essence of sleeping for kids rather the fun of playing outside rain or shine, that same guy whom I learned how to cook meals, wash dishes, clean up mess when the elders "graduated" from household chores, that person who I always asked to buy female things for me, that only guy who agree to me when I try to fix his hair with no style at all!

He will always be the same person whom I always look up to coming during weekends and rest days so I can talk about how our lives have been. I will always look forward his matured advices and brotherly "sermon" on how I am living my life. Our grocery out and shawarma eat out with Mama, the videoke and movie watching at home, the out of town trips with the special people of our lives.

Well I know that these things would not happen forever, we would grow older, but I know we would never grow apart in heart as siblings.

But why can I say that he is indeed the strongest? Well simply because he is man enough to tell people what's wrong and what should it have been. At the same time, he knew how to keep mum of his feelings but he make sure that everyone knew where he stands. That's Ped, that's my brother.

Well, this note is actually for him. I have promised him that I'll write up one for him and it feels that this day is quite perfect for me to do it. It's an Advance Birthday Gift Bro! I will always be here for you as you have been for me and the family. We love you Bunso!!!

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Untitled: Valentines...

Is there such a thing as unconditional love nowadays? Except of course of the Divine Love from the Creator.

Why do people always set up a certain qualification before saying the words "I Love You"? Why do we need to look up to someone's status, plans and whatever before settling with the feeling that is on your heart?

Is it love? Or just a simple insecurity that you can not live with someone who did not pass your so called requirements? I thought love is an involuntary feeling? Why do most people always have this checkpoint? Can't they just accept the fact that no one is ever perfect enough meet standards?

Or is it like a balance between heart and mind? Not a bad thing either. But it is not love anymore. I call it merely securing your life. And if it is, then it basically goes against all the love song that were made and being aired on Radio Stations, being downloaded and being saved in Discs for selling. It is not love, not within what it should really be. 

But I can not say that there is no unconditional love nowadays. Looking around me, there are unperfect couples, but they stayed with each other. They may not be happy as they were before, but they never easily gave up when things get wrong. They try to fight together and work out things together. 

They stay against all odds, against knowing what life had been for them together, against knowing their differences.

That is, ultimately, LOVE for me. 

Just my two cents. Happy Valentines 2013.

Big SIS

Who among you have an eldest sister? I do. And most of my friends does.

After living the years of my life, I came to realise some facts about them. And these are significant points which inspires me to write this Note about them:

First, in the younger years, these Big SIS are not appreciated by her siblings. Most big Sis are "contrabida" at home, someone who always makes taray and away those pasaway. Someone who always been perfect and see the imperfection of the other people at home. Someone who had been an achiever and expects the same from her youngsters. Someone who would wake you up early in the morning and tell you how lazy you are and someone who would yell at you at night so you could sleep early. Someone who is a Fun Buster, a disciplinarian, a Role Model. Someone we used to hate because we are compared to them. Someone who always points out money being spent for nothing, while for you it was everything.

Latter part in life, these Big SIS will not leave you until you do the right thing, which is kinda annoying for younger siblings. She would help you, but of course, you would hear her talked about it over and over, which younger ones would consider as 'sumbat'. She would make you feel how less achiever you are since you can't race through her series of medals and recognitions. And  when you make mistakes, she is the first one to scold you about it.

Well those are kind of facts. Young ones should admit these. Big SIS are less appreciated in most families, probably most hated. But people never realise how lucky a person can be if he or she had an older sister. They overlooked the fact that Big SIS are like that because most of them pursue the best out of their brothers and sisters. They make taray everyday to make you realise that what you are doing is not acceptable. They seized to achieve everything to inspire you that nothing is impossible through hard work. She makes you value rest and sleep because she knew you would need those in the future. She chose to be frugal with resources because she knew how hard it is without it. She keeps her nose in everything you do because she does not want you to do the same mistake that either of you made before. She does not make sumbat though it sounds like that, it was just firm reminder for you to learn. She would never leave you until you learn your lesson and start changing.

All Big SIS just does that: Tough Love. Yes, they love their siblings, even in their own tough and firm ways. Because they had felt first the hardships in life and they do not have enough time to sugar coat the facts for their younger siblings. 

But like any other human, they all have soft sides. They can be hurt and tired of the role they play. Unlike their younger brother and sister, they does not have an older sibling to cry on and lean on. They do not have an older sibling to turn to and defend them in times of hurting. So they need to be strong, not for themselves, but for their siblings.

That's how hard their role is and having it said, that's how we should appreciate them.

This goes out for those Eldest Sister who feels that same hatred from their own siblings with the praying that one day they would realise they are wrong and would appreciate you and heed your advices. Like I did with my only Ate., well, after all she is my ultimate Idol =D

Someday

Life have been so challenging these past two years. I have not even managed to realized that it almost took me two years to write a blog again.

After the last blog when I was offered a job, I am now given a opportunity to lead a team, be a people manager and be one of whom I always look up to. 

It was not easy, especially for a start up company as I used to have established ones. Or maybe I am not yet that fit to be here as I am still pursuing my studies. 

People tell me to give up either of the two. At first I was challenged, but then I realized, it was not really fair for both, and I simply can not serve two masters faithfully. 

But still God is good. I am trying to manage both of them, my personal life and all.

Someday, I know that time will come when I can be where I really want to be. I always believe in having the reason behind, whatever that might be, I know I need to be strong that would take a lot. 

I just wished that I have done better before. Oh geez, I do not want to ever regret, but this would be the first time. I just felt so tired today, so tired that I just want to break apart. But I know I have not given my best yet. Not now. Semester Break is still a long way to run. 

Life Goes on

A poem I made year 2005 pa... Those time I was not yet a part of Call Centre Industry and it shows! The poem is so simple yet this is my favorite. I posted this in all my Friends' testimonials in Friendster...

Life Goes On

Hear my Friend a thought to ponder

For every trial has an equal wonder

Everything has its own reason

Life's purpose in every person

Hear my friend, the voice within

However it may, you should win

Coz lifes a battle, in middle of war

Losers are those who gave up a far

See, God created the world in no perfection

But provides us heart and mind to decide on

Opportunity do comes with great responsibility

Lifes aint easy, but beautiful as it can be

Coz Life goes on, it never ends

But here I am if you need a friend

One of Countless people by your side

Through thick and thin, bounty or strife

As a friend I may promise nothing more

But to be there when you call

Though how long life goes on for

Ill stay by your side forevermore

Ang Madamdaming Pamamaalam ni Aces

I was not able to send this farewell letter before I left eBay. So with the help of Facebook, I hope these special people would know how grateful I am that I met them. For those I was not able to mention, you've been a part as well and as special as the friendship that grew between us. Please tag those for some reason I can't =)

---- Napakabilis ng panahon. Parang kahapon lang nung nagtry ako magapply sa West sa EBP, subalit nung magbukas ang elevator sa 9th floor, tumambad sa aking paningin ang napakahabang pila ng mga aplikante. Naenganyo kaming bumaba sa floor na yon, at nalaman namin na Sutherland pala ang pangalan ng Call Centre na ito. DAhil me kilala kami dito, ay minabuti na naming ipagpabukas ang West at nagumpisang magpasa ng aplikasyon. And the rest is history ika nga... 3 years in the making...

Bagamat hindi sasapat ang mga salita upang ibahagi ko ang aking pasasalamat sa bawat taong aking nakasalamuha sa kumpanyang ito, pipilitin kong kahit paano ay maipakita na kung gaano sila kahalaga sa akin.

Wait, EOP nga pala... at ala akong planong pahabain pa ito. I know any moment from now ay magqq-ing na at babaha na ng sup call at man call. So here it goes...

First and foremost, I would like to thank the eBay UK Management, VOice and Non Voice teams, especially to Boss Monica who gave me the chance to upgrade me career path though she had interviewed me in my most unprepared moment. I was wearing a four pocket maong pants with wearoff tshirt during that interview. But still she gave me the chance to learn more in terms of leadership by hiring me as an SME. Thank you din po sa pagtatago ng aking litrato hehe =)

To all Supervisors who became my mentors during my SME days, especially To Boss Roma, to whom I honestly learned a lot from despite of our differences. To Bosses: JAce, Roan, Elle, Allen, Pam, Lea and to my former Co- Smes who were promoted as well, Heiken, Kat, Rocille, Devon. Thank you. 

To those people whom I shared Sup call, Man Calls, Escalation Issues and Floor Difficulty Issues with, The Elite SMES of the floor whom I can call the best people of support group. Keep it up. Its an honor working with you guys. THank you for helping my Blackpool team for these past few months. Rage, Via, Leanne, Justin, Jihan to name a few... 

To my one and only team: Blackpool... I had a separate message for you guys. Despite of the issues, I am proud of what you can do to fight for your integrity. 

To the whole Voice Community, especially to those who always looked for me for sup or man call, thank you. In one way or another I learned a thing or two from you guys. Thank you for the respect that you always showed me.

To my Batchmates, especially to the three remaining defamation and Suspension appeals: Lheo, Mommy Joanne and Yani... I'll be missing you guys. I know there had been a lot of changes since I transferred in Voice, but one thing remained that same, Im still the Aces whom you knew 3 years ago.. 

To Mommy Rose, Mommy Rics, Mommy She, Mamita and Mommy Ghe, I would keep in my heart all the things that I have learned from both of you. Thank you for being like a mom to me.

To QA and Training team, especially to those who vouched for me last eBay 4th anniversary.. I really appreciate the effort guys. 

BOss Maki, Boss Yen, Boss Anju, Ate PRecy, RJ, Kathy, Lynell, Yhangge, Sir DYno, Boss Ash, Boss Jeff, MItch!, Matt, Russell, Yani gurl, Val, Rhye, te Janice and to all who knew me from the Non Voice team... (Its not that I dont know you but I dont know who among you are still staying) -- Thank you very very much for being a part of my eBay Life.

Three years passed by peacefully, happily and blessed. Three years of my life that I will always be thankful of because of the people that I grew up with in the eBay UK - Sutherland Community. 

=) May God Bless each and everyone of us!

GWEN SOLDEN signing off...

Ang Aking Talumpati

Sa aking kapitapitagang guro: Binibining Novalinda Jurada, Sa aking mga Kamag-aral, BSCS 1D AM, at sa ating ibang Panauhing Pandangal, isang mapagpalang umaga po.

Ano nga ba ang pag-ibig? Bagamat napakaraming ibinibigay na pakahulugan si Ginoong Webster, hindi pa rin madaling ipaliwanag ito.

Simula't sapul ang mundo'y isilang, sinasabi nang may eksistensya na ng pag-ibig. Ayon sa Bibliya, tayo ay nilikha ng Diyos dahil sa pag-ibig, at  ibinigay pa nya ang kanyang nag-iisang anak, si Hesus, upang tayong mga makasalanan ay mailigtas ng dahil din sa iisang dahilan: ang pag-ibig. Tayo'y isinilang dahil sa pag-ibig ng ating magulang at nagpapatuloy tayo sa buhay dahil sa pag-ibig ng mga tao sa ating kapaligiran. 

Gayundin sa ating pagtanda, hindi maiiwasan na tayo'y maghanap ng kapareha na ating makakasama sa hinaharap. Ngunit sabi nga nila, sa ating pagtanda pa. Bilang payong ate, mas irerekomenda kong ienjoy muna natin ang ating kabataan, na minsan lamang darating sa ating buhay. Ang mga kabataan ngayon ay dapat munang nakatutok sa kanilang pag-aaral, sa kanilang paghahanda sa hinaharap. Higit pa sa kahit anong edad, ngayon, sa inyong pagiging adolescent, ang pinakamagandang panahon upang umusbong. Ayon nga sa isang talumpati ang pinakamasamang "pagkabansot" ay yung hindi na paglaki sa isip, puso at diwa. 

Sa gayon, dapat rin pala tayong umusbong sa puso. Di rin masamang magmahal, magkacrush o puppy love sa inyong edad, bagamat, dapat nating matutunan ang tamang pagpaparyoridad at limitasyon. 

Iibahin ko ang tanong.. ano nga ba ang tunay na pag-ibig? Sabi nga sa mga pelikula, "two way street" ang pag-ibig. Kailangang mutual ang nararamdaman ng dalawang tao para umusbong ang matibay na pagiibigan. 

Ang iba naman ay sa pisikal na anyo ibinabase ang pagmamahal. Sabi nga nila Boyfriend or Girlfriend material. Ang iba naman ay sa kasikatan o katanyagan at nakakalungkot ngunit ang iba naman ay sa kayamanan. Ang mga ito ang hindi tunay na pag-ibig.  

Ang tunay na umiibig: di ka iiwan sa pinakaalanganin mong panahon, di ka lilisanin kung ika'y tumaba, pumangit o tumanda, di ka huhusgahan kung ika'y sasablay sa desisyon o malilihis sa landas ng buhay. Bagamat siya ang dapat unang gumising sa iyong kahibangan, pagtanggap nya pa rin dapat andyan. Higit sa lahat, alam nya na ang pagbabago ay parte ng buhay, kaya't anumang mangyari dapat handa nyang harapin ito kasama ka at hindi yaong tatakbuhan ka na kapag ang pagkaperpekto mo'y nawala na. 

Hindi ba't kay sarap makahanap ng taong kakanta sayo ng "I wanna grow old with you..."? Huwag kayong mainip, dahil may tamang panahon at darating din siya. Mga kamag-aral, ang huling masasabi ko ay: aral-aral muna.